i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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