I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
