Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
