so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
