I must be too annoying 4 u.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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