Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize