how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
