i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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