Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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