yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
