Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize