I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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