i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
