is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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