The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
