Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
