i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
