Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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