Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
