TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
