12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize