wat bout pragnant strippers??
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
