how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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