Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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