i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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