as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
