I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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