I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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