i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
