South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
