'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
