Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
