I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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