The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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