Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
