Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
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