Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
