I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
