I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
