Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Mom said you looked used
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I need to calm my uterus...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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