she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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