They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
