he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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