i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
