Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize