OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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