I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
