So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
