I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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