Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
