I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
