We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I woke up under a house in Key West
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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