Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
