Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.

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(631): View more from New York

"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......

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(862): View more from New Jersey

found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"

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(703): View more from Virginia

Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes

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(260): View more from Indiana

you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you

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(647): View more from Ontario

he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.

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(315): View more from New York

I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.

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