i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
