absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
