i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
