I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
