OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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