is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize
